Family: Friends or Foe?

February 25, 2012

I knew I could not solve the heat problem alone and would have to ask for help. Begging is not something that comes easily for me. However, how your family sees you and your illness can have a huge impact on the quality of your life. I have not seen one adult child in over four years even though they live nearby. Another adult child has been trying to exit out the back door of my life for the last couple of years. This one has my only grandchild. I have gotten some help from this one over the years. However, he does not try to understand the complexities of invisible chronic illnesses and chronic pain. I've actually been called a drug addict. Neither one of them understands or knows how to deal with the ups and downs of energy levels. What really frustrates me is when one of them wants to tell me what I should and should not do about my struggles with these illnesses. I have even been told I ought to go into a nursing home! Yet they will not even make an attempt to read books, check out reliable we sites about them or attend a local support group.

Now an oil company has put me in a position of having to go to my children and ask "beg" for help. I believe they should both help. They have good jobs. I asked them how long they were going to hang onto their bitterness and anger. After all I raised them as a single parent. I was the one at their sports events and other school activities etc. When I told them I could not get any more oil and would have to find a place to stay until the end of the heating season, one was shocked and the other's reaction was more anger and finger pointing. My only solution at this time is to buy an infrared quartz space heater to help heat the downstairs along with the wood stove. I hope I can save enough fuel oil in the tank to at least heat the house in the morning since I turn the heat down to 62 degrees at night.