SPRING EXPLODED FROM BONE MEAL!

April 15, 2013.

Spring has really exploded. It was just waiting for the weather to warm up. My daffodils looked like Martha Steward's garden without the gardener. There were all types of different daffodils…..jonquils, narcissi, doubles, singles. All those long forgotten bulbs which I planted and have never bloomed. As a result of a heavy dose of bone meal in the fall, I received a visual parade of flowers and totally forgot all about Vertigo. You are supposed to put bone meal around the bulbs in the early spring as the daffodils start to come up. Because of the Raynauds in my hands it is usually too cold in the spring.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANDMA

March 23, 2013

I was surprised by a "Grand" birthday my southern son called me and we had a chatty conservation. As he said goodbye, he quipped "oh, by the way Happy Birthday". It was the first time he remembered ever. (He did tell me it was Face Book). Then my northern son called and wished me happy birthday. But it was my granddaughter who was on the line when I answered and sang "Happy Birthday" to me. It was the sweetest sound I ever heard in a long time. She has that song down pat-since she goes to a lot of birthday parties.

WHAT ABOUT THE GRANDCHILDREN?

February 22, 2013

My relation with my Northern (N) son continues to worsen. Now I was getting fewer and fewer opportunities to talk to my granddaughter. He said "it was my decision to do what was right for my family". This time I did some confrontation such as the person who was being hurt the most was my granddaughter. Her grandmother whom she loved was being taken away from her. My son was modeling how to treat mothers and grandmothers. I asked him how long he was going to hang on to all this anger. I asked if he remembered how angry he was with his brother when he and I were estranged and was causing me a lot of pain. No response. The last thing I said was did he even have a clue as to how much he was hurting me?

About an hour later the phone rang and it was my granddaughter asking if I wanted to "Skype". After telling her how much I loved her I said I would have to fire up my computer. Her response was "awesome". Then she said I'll be in my chair waiting. She likes to share with me her pictures, new toys or something from her pre-school. A few days later I got an email from my northern son (N) saying he was coming down in a couple of weeks with JJ and stay at the motel in town with a pool. I was in shock.

I was also surprised at how well the visit went. The focus was on JJ. She was so excited to see me. We all went swimming, out to dinner, played hide and seek and did ceramics at "Frog and Toad". They came over to the house to visit. JJ told me she could hardly wait to get here to play with "Grandma's toys". There was hardly any tension. My son actually seemed to be relaxed. They had driven down making a 2 day drive each way.

I felt like I got a hypodermic needle of feel good family love.

Vertigo, Dizziness, and Disequilibrium

December 20, 2012

 

After seeing the ENT (ear, nose, and throat) doctor, he told me I could discontinue my physical therapy because he felt the test results from a hearing and balance Doctor were inconclusive. So off I went for more testing: M I R and Sonogram of the neck to check for vascular issues or tumors. No tumors or blood clots were found. Next I was scheduled to see a neurologist at University medical school. All I knew was you have to wait months to see the specialists plus, none of them agree on what is causing the problem. I've learned more about the kinds of vertigo and balance issues on the Internet.

My problems started out as a major vertigo episode back in August that landed me in the hospital. I have also experienced dizziness, and this disequilibrium which can be the result of the dysfunction of the balance organs of the inner ear. This is called a peripheral vestibular disorder.

I have been amazed at how complicated it is to be able to walk upright without falling over, or not getting dizzy for days at a time. There is also a central vestibular disorder, which is a dysfunction of one or more of parts of the central nervous system that helps with balance.

• Dizziness: can be described as light headedness, faintness or unsteadiness. It does not include "Room spinning".
  
• Vertigo: is actually the perception of movement or whirling or "room spinning" of the self or the room.
  
• Disequilibrium: unsteadiness, imbalance, or spatial orientation.
  
• Spatial Disorientation: sensation of not knowing where one's body is in relation to the vertical and horizontal plan.
  

Vestibular Disorders Association, "Causes of Dizziness", www.vestibular.org.

 

I have experienced all of these since August. I was slowly improving to where I didn't need a cane for after 3 days a week. However, walking any distance, like a mall or the market – I was pretty slow and often looked like I was drunk. On really good days I've been able to work as a substitute teacher. Walking down the hallway of students was a challenge. There were some students I may have had thoughts of smacking with my cane!

Some doctors think I have a vestibular disorder because of how the dizziness presents when I am moving, standing up, walking, turning around, etc. The body maintains its balance by a multi-system of signals. It begins in the inner air with signals from tiny balance organ. They work with the visual system so you can know where you are standing, sitting, and lying down. These visual organs can also keep objects from moving when your head moves. The 3rd system is the touch sensors in your feed, trunk, spine and scan. As a result, the sensory input from these 3 systems: vestibular (inner ear), vision, and touch sensors send balance signals to your brain, which processes them to send feedback to your eyes and muscle to help maintain balance and posture. There are more than a dozen different balance disorders. I feel like I have had them all.

Vertigo and Other Episodes from Hell

December 15, 2012

 

It continued to be a difficult winter. My vertigo is still unresolved and I have had several relapses. I was also struggling with extreme exhaustion. Given the stress level in my life, it was not surprising.

During Thanksgiving I had a small electrical fire in a breaker box. The house was a hodgepodge of add- on fuses. Now, half the house had its electric shut off, including my office. All this required replacing all the fuse boxes with an upgrade Breaker box on a panel. Thank heavens, my southern son (formerly estranged) help me decide which direction to go along with my brother-in-law. The funds were contributed from family, me, and a trust fund. At the last minute, I discovered my home owner's insurance company would cover a large chunk of the upgrade. With this we decided to go to a 200 amp upgrade. Now at least my electric was in the modern age relative to a four bedroom house. This feature would also be a plus when I am ready to sell out.

It was Christmas time before I could finally get the work done. A week later when I went to take the woods stove ashes out. I found my office filled with black smoke. It was pouring out of the top of my furnace. Fortunately it was not a major repair, but it meant calling the plumber out on a Saturday. He was not very happy and I was charged extra for the emergency call.

There was also one car repair after another, including new brakes and a bad starter for which I had to pay for it to be towed to the garage from my driveway. As if all of this wasn't stressful enough, my northern son was still not speaking to me. I was told that I was no longer invited to their house. He was not even going to allow me to Skype with my granddaughter when opening my Christmas gifts. I asked him what my granddaughter wanted. She wanted to have grandma see her open her presents. Well, with my vertigo, plus the estranged relationship, I had already decided not to try to travel. I only hoped with spring and the longer days, I would start to feel better. I could only pray for my family and send my dear granddaughter cute little cards, not knowing if she would get them

TRAVELING AT IT’S WORST

December 10, 2012

I am still struggling from Vertigo from last August. It can really turn your world upside down and it's a lot more complex than I ever knew. But first as if the ordeal at the hospital and Rehab center were not enough last August; my trip home was a traveling nightmare. It was over an hour drive to the airport. I arrived at the curb side check-in only to find that my flight had been canceled. Due to the Vertigo I needed to use a wheel chair to get around. The next flight was not until 7:30 pm. I did get a voucher for lunch and $200 towards another flight plus no charge for my second bag. My son had left after lunch to return home. I had to get a sky cap to take me to the gate. There I sat all afternoon by myself. At one point the place filled up. I was getting ready until they announced the flight was going to San Francisco. I thought about getting onboard but alas the flight was full. Next thing I knew it was past time to board and there were no people. I checked my boarding pass and I saw that the sky cap had taken me to the wrong gate. By the time someone came to take my wheel chair to the correct gate I found the second flight had also been cancelled. Now it is 8:00 pm and the airlines are trying to rebook flights of the last remaining passengers. I discovered being in a wheel chair was not conducive to having a conversation with the ticket agent behind a tall desk or hearing what they were saying.

My flight was rebooked for 7:30 am the next morning. There was a couple with what appeared to be a college age son waiting with me. Now the ticket agent also had to hand out more vouchers for overnight accommodations and dinner. Plus I got another voucher for $150 towards another flight. The airlines told us we were booked for the same flight in the morning and asked the couple if they would assist me in getting to the hotel and getting to my room. Then in the morning assist in getting back. By now I was really exhausted and I was grateful this family took me under their wing. None of us had any baggage. I did have my med bag and some clean underwear. So I got to sleep in the same clothes I had been wearing all day knowing I'd be wearing them again all the next day.

The next morning at 5:00 am my travel angels came to get me for the half hour trip back to the airport. When we got to security I was asked if the family was with me because I was taken to a handicapped only line. My response was today they were part of my family. We got to the concourse area heading to our gate. They were pushing my wheel chair. I was holding my now 3 third boarding pass and was looking at it and saw my gate number started with a letter C and all these gates began with a letter B. So we went to the nearest ticket counter agent to find out where my gate was. We pretty quickly realized that we were not on the same flight at all. Matter of fact my flight was in a different terminal on the other side of the airport. On top of that my flight was in the process of boarding and there was no way I could make it on time. I said goodbye to my travel angels who were on their way to the Midwest for another son's graduation.

As a consequence of fuel costs, airlines have reduced the number of flights. Now I had to reschedule yet another flight for the fourth attempt to get home. In addition, my brother was picking me up in Virginia and helping me get to my car which was at his house. So every flight change meant a call to him who in turn had to change his plans.

Initially the airlines wanted to book me on their next flight which was the same 2:30 afternoon flight I was suppose to take the day before. I told them that I had two flights cancelled and was given the wrong info for a third flight. I insisted that they find me a flight home on a different carrier before noon. The only thing they could do was into a different airport. I insisted again that they get me to the airport where my brother was waiting for me. It would have been about a two hour round trip drive in rush hour traffic. They finally agreed to cover the cost of the hour taxi ride. By the time I got to my car, I still had a 2 ½ drive home.

VERTIGO AT THE HOSPITAL

 

I had another appointment with the neurolgist at the university. It was in the middle of Holy Week. There was bad weather predicted.  I was able to get a driver from my church to drive me out.  That was a smart decision because I awoke in the morning having another attack of vertigo and throwing up.  I was suppose to meet the person at church.  I called him and said I couldn't drive because I had to take some medicine.  So he came out to the house to get me.  I took a waste can with me just in case.  We hit bad weather along the high ridges in the mountains.

I was able to walk into the hospital.  I spent most of the time with a medical student who did my history.  The neurologist came in and said there were no pictures with the medical records discs.  He did a basic neurological physical exam.  I had to lie back on the exam table.  He asked me to roll my pants leg up to above my knee as I lifted my head.  I got attacked number two of vertigo as I grabbed my head with the room spinning around.  I proceeded to have it happen  two more times just trying to get up from the table.  The doctor got all excited calling for the medical student to come and look at my eyes doing jumping jacks or mystigmas (rapid eye movement).  I called out that they better get me a trash can before I threw up all over them.  They were lucky that I didn't.  After four hours, I left in a wheelchair because now I was so dizzy I could not walk out of there.  The doctor still wanted the actual MRI pictures.  So another appointment was made.